With a professional sigh and making a more maternal mental note to have yet another word with my wayward teen, I leaned forward with every intention of logging him out of whatever site he was 'entertaining' himself with and then hitting the power button.My interest, though, was taken by the avatar name he had evidently been using. It was, of course, purely a professional interest... although my maternal instincts might well have been activated by the site's banner. It was quickly clear that he had been chatting away on a site that was distinctly adult – the screen was plain enough, but the banner suggested 'erotica', the room choice was 'kinky mothers' and the top right-hand corner of the screen was dominated by bare breasts.None of these things – truly and honestly – bothered me too much. Boys will be boys and teens will be teens – although that didn't stop me simply switching off the laptop rather than logging my errant son out of the site first. I left his room with the stack of. I left it here."She rummaged around while I fumed. "Here."Now I had to figure out what the note said. I sat down at her desk andbegan to write out a translation, slowly and carefully. I beat my brainsout over the mystery sentence and finally unraveled it: Beware of any stain from your own body fluids on the garments; such a stain renders the garments ineffective for the owner.Oh, my God. "Macula." Was that what had happened to Uncle Doug? Was that why he had mysteriously disappeared? I remembered the faded stain on thejockeys. I looked at them now, dripping dry over the tub. There were twofaded stains on them now.Betty was looking over my shoulder. "Jim! Does that mean what I think itmeans?" Shit, I hope not. If it does, I'm you for good. What a disaster thatwill be!" Thank you very much, Dear," she said. "I've managed being me for aquarter of a century." You know what I mean. You're supposed to be you. I'm not. I'm supposedto be me. I mean, I'm supposed to be.
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